Love Me as I Love You
by SerNature
Summary: Thane and Shepard get a moments respite on Intai'sei, but a memory threatens to break the peace. One-shot, fluff!smut.


It was amazing how something so simple could be so utterly amazing.

Nothing in Shepard's life had ever really been simple before; happiness was a fleeting, fickle thing that she really didn't have _time_ to worry about.

She never realized how much she _craved_ it until she met Thane.

Amazing didn't begin to cover this. There were no words, really.

Thane wanted to see a desert, and Shepard was going to be the one to show him one, thus they ended up on Intai'sei, where she luckily still had the "apartment"(it was really more of a trailer) Admiral Ahern had awarded her.

They had spent the entire day just walking over the dunes, never too far, just enjoying the feeling of sand between their toes and the warmth of the sun. Shepard had _never_ heard him breathe so easily and that alone made the entire trip worth it.

Now, the sun was setting and they were back inside with the window shutters wide open. Thane sat comfortably on the sill; one leg still inside the apartment, the other dangling out. He leaned back slightly, resting on the side of the window, and looked at her expectantly; a small, sweet smile on his lips.

He was just wearing a billowy white shirt (it reminded her of those 'pirate' shirts you saw on old cheesy romance holo-novel covers. She was beginning to see the appeal, though) and brown trousers; she was also in a white blouse, hers buttoned and sleeveless, and jean shorts. It made cuddling so much easier, so she bounded across the living room like and excited five-year-old at Christmas morning, and settled between his legs.

Thane's arms came around her, hands clasped right at her navel, and he gave her a tender kiss to the side of her neck. She smiled and made a little noise of contentment, placing her hands over his, and let out a deep, long sigh.

They sat in a comfortable silence for what must have been close to an hour; fingers occasionally stroking one another or interlacing, legs outside swinging gently in time with one another. The symphony of colors that accompanied the sunset were reaching the crescendo of their performance; that wonderful moment where the sun was still high enough in the sky to give off an array of goldenrod, orange, and a stark, blood red; low enough that a mixture of amethyst and indigo started to form, and stars started to sparkle.

She was about to mention how thankful she was he was here when Shepard felt him stiffen behind her, almost as if he'd been stung.

"Thane? You all right?"

He said nothing. She swung her legs back inside, twisting her torso so she could look him directly in the eye.

His pupils were dilated; not majorly, but noticeable to her, and his normally mossy-colored irises took on a much brighter hue.

"I--

_She stares out into the sunset as she speaks_

_"You're leaving again."_

_There's no question_

_I try to embrace her, but she turns away_

_"I hope you recognize us when you return, love"_

_A tear slides down her face, unbidden_

_I turn to leave; she never looks away from the horizon"_

"God, Thane... was that...?" she asked, voice soft.

He nodded slightly; shame and regret and _pain_ all obvious in his eyes. Obvious to her. "Yes. That was the last time I spoke to Irikah." his voice wavered. "She was right. I did not recognize her, _them_, when I returned."

A shudder ran through his body, his gaze drifted to his hands that were now hanging loosely on his thighs, palms up, before making his way back to her face.

"I did nothing to deserve the love of one siha; all her love for me gave her was loneliness. I left her alone thinking no one would reach her; I was far too efficient for anyone to have a chance, after all." he let out a mirthless snort, eye ridges drawn down and pinched together, " She was not killed by my hands, but her blood stains them nonetheless." Said hands clenched tightly, his entire body was tense.

"Why am I _rewarded_?" his voice was rumbling with barely restrained anger. Why would the Gods give me _you_ after all I have done? I am a _sinner_, siha. I did not deserve _her_, I do not deserve my _son_, and I do not deserve _you_." He looked back out at the sunset; a sinner searching for his penance.

Shepard bit her lower lip and gnawed on it, giving him time to cool down, and her time to think of what to say.

Timidly, as if she were afraid he word start at the slightest movement, she placed a hand to his cheek. Unlike his during his admission months ago, he didn't move her hand away. With gentle pressure, she turned his head until their eyes met, his eyes glistening in the ever-dimming light.

A shaky breath left him, and he tilted his head into her palm. His hand covered hers and his eyes slid close; a few deep breaths in and out skated across her wrist, making goosebumps rise.

When his eyes opened again, she spoke, "You're a very selfish man, Thane."

He blinked. Once; twice; three times. His mouth opened then shut with an audible click.

"I... Pardon?" The incredulity was clear in his voice.

She placed her other hand on his opposite cheek, thumbs rubbing the ridges of his cheekbones tenderly. In a soft, loving voice, she said, "Have you ever stopped to think about how much your _sihas_ need _you_, Thane?"

The pinched eyebrow ridges and slight cock of his head answered her clearly.

"I can't speak for Irikah, true, but I know what _I_ feel." she smiled gently, moving her hands from his face to his hands, clasping them like a lifeline.

"I know that I never feel alone anymore." she planted a kiss on his scaly knuckles. "I know that I feel _happy_ whenever I'm near you." On his nose. "I know that every time the corner of your mouth quirks up, I feel like my heart is going to burst." A kiss on said corner, then fully on the lips.

Her voice lowered to a whisper. "I know that I love you, Thane. You aren't _alone_ in your sin."

Thane clearly was about to protest that but she firmly shut him down with her Commander Glare of Doom.

She continued, after being sure she would be allowed to say her piece, "I have the blood of friends on my hands, Thane. Brothers and sisters-in arms. A misguided prophet. The genophage cure. An _entire race_ of people who were once regal and proud -_free willed;_ it wasn't _their fault_ they were _made_ into slaves.

And yet I was given another _life_. And more than that..." her voice fell to a cracked whisper, and tears threatened to spill from her eyes. "More than that, I was given a chance to know what it means to really _live._ To _love_."

He wrapped his sinewy arms around her and pressed her as tightly as possible to him; lips a hairs breadth away.

Tears fell as she spoke quietly, "Don't ruin this by thinking you aren't _worthy_. None of us are; we aren't perfect creatures, no matter the species. Love wouldn't be _love_ if we didn't _accept_ that."

His thumbs sweetly brushed away her tears, cupping her face. He smiled then, so uninhibited and carefree that she almost started weeping again.

A chuckle fell from his plush lips, the smile turned into a self-deprecating twist of the mouth, "I had no idea you were so wise, siha. Clearly I am misguided." His hand sensually ran along the curve of her neck, but his tone was serious. "I have years of regret; of guilt, in my heart; upon my soul, siha." he leaned even closer, brushing his lips against hers. "But... perhaps you are right. Perhaps..."

Their lips met tenderly; tongues were quick to enter, but slow to leave, dancing with each other unhurriedly, relishing in the connection.

When they came up for air, she just smiled and said, "Love me, Thane." She sweetly caressed the ruby folds at his throat, grinning at the rumble she got in reply. Her voice became a seductive l whisper. "Love me."

"Always, siha." he replied affectionately. He disentangled himself from her, maneuvering his body fluidly, so that his legs were indoors as hers were, and they were sitting side by side.

Thane turned toward her, his hand smoothly running along her bare thigh.

"It is my _pleasure_ to love you whenever you wish." he murmured, voice husky, causing his body to vibrate slightly.

Shepard did her best to compose herself as she hopped from her perch on the windowsill. Her hand found his, and she gestured towards the bedroom with a quick jerk of her head. His inclined in response, removing himself from the sill in a far more graceful manner, and allowed himself to be tugged to their bed.

The moment they got to the room, her hands were on him, making short work of the shirt (it landed somewhere in the vicinity of their nightstand) and began to undo the fly of his far-less-complicated-than-normal civvy trousers, making sure to stroke the crimson flesh that decorated his lower abdomen, when his hands firmly clasp around her wrists.

She pouted childishly and attempted her best puppy-dog eyes, fingers flicking the fabric of his pants and straining to reach his skin.

The drell let out a throaty chuckle, shaking his head in amusement. "Forgive me if I am mistaken, siha," he said, knowing he _couldn't_ be due to his eidetic memory, "but I believe you instructed _me_ to love _you_."

Shepard blinked a few times, the internal war between the desire to rip Thane's pants off and the nigh insatiable curiosity of his plans caused to zone out for a time. This happened often; she was decisive in just about everything else in her life, but sex with Thane? _Everything_ was a good option. Thane, for his part, usually just watched her in a sort of bemusement as her thoughts no doubt painted her face, waiting for her to make up her mind.

Tonight was apparently different, because he just began unbuttoning her shirt.

She contemplated saying something, but when his slick lips found the hollow of her neck she decided turning her brain off for the moment was a sound idea.

Her shirt was open in seconds and on the floor even quicker. His rough hands gripped the curves of her hips, fingers dipping into her shorts ever-so-slightly as his lips traveled over her collarbone and into the cleft of her breasts. Nips on the swell of her breasts caused her to gasp, and - in the spirit of teamwork, of course - she unclasped her bra and shimmied slightly, causing Thane to rip the thing the rest of the way off, tossing it across the room unceremoniously (of course, it still managed to hit the doorknob).

His muscular thigh found its way between her own, simultaneously nudging her to the bed while allowing her something to grind on as he worried at her nipples, soothing them with gentle suckles and a laving tongue.

Just as Shepard was about to hit the edge of the bed and topple over, Thane stopped his worship of her breasts - much to her disappointment - to agilely scoop her up bridal style, lovingly setting her down on the center of the bed. He planted his lips on her forehead quickly, before letting his hands skate across her skin until his fingers hooked in her shorts and underwear, tossing both to the floor.

He slid smoothly across the sheets until he was laying by her side, a hand on the upper curve of her inner thigh, fused fingers making lazy circles. The roughness of his scales contrasted starkly against the ghost-like touch, making a delicious tickling sensation that caused her entire body to shiver in anticipation, made even more potent as the hallucinogenic from his saliva started to kick in.

"Thane." she gasped. "Thane, please... more... touch me." Her hips thrust up slightly, making her point.

His lips found the sensitive skin behind her ear, nibbling. "You needn't ask twice." he rumbled, moving his hand to the apex between her legs at the same time.

Whimpering, she thrust up again; his fused fingers ran up and down her wet folds, circling around the hood of her hard nub and her entrance as he passed them. A cascade of moans, groans and pathetic mewling noises spilled out of her as Thane continued his ministrations; fused fingers now slid inside her as his thumb brushed the very tip of her bud, causing Shepard to arch off the bed.

The fingers inside of her moved at an agonizingly slow pace, curling them slightly as he worked her masterfully; lips now on her nipple, sucking as he nipped on the peak.

Her breath came out in heavy, harsh pants as she felt the tension in her abdomen reach it's breaking point. She was so close...

Thane moved his head up, looking down into her eyes as his thumb suddenly started circling around her nub at a mind-blowingly fast pace and she was lost. Arching off the bed, her breasts pressing against his chest, heels digging into the satin sheets, she let out a hoarse scream that _might_ have been his name, or a curse, or an 'Oh God' if she was capable of any form of coherency.

Colored spots danced before her eyes as she came down, sweating heavily, heart threatening to burst from her chest. Her body quaked with aftershocks, that he drew out languidly with smooth strokes of those amazingly talented fingers. When she finally started to squirm away from his touch - the combination of her slightly buzzed state and post-orgasm hyper-sensitivity was quite the powerful mixture - Thane drew his hand away, casually leaning down and reaching for some article of clothing that had luckily ended close to the bed to clean up.

As her breathing calmed she finally found the energy to turn her head ever so slightly, to find Thane back at her side, staring at her intently, his hand soothingly running through the strands of her hair. He looked more than a little smug, too. If it wasn't so well-deserved she might have smacked him for it.

Shepard let out a husky chuckle. "Yes, you're magnificent. I know. If we had neighbors, they'd know too. Most of the crew knows, at least." she said, voice raspy from her earlier exertion.

Thane just nodded sagely, as if she were telling him nothing he didn't know already; that purely _male_ version of satisfaction was _rolling_ off him in waves, even though his face was still impassive save for the slight quirk of an eyebrow ridge.

"At the very least we should be able to keep the local fauna away." he deadpanned. God_dammit_ he was good at that.

"You're very cheeky when you're smug, you know." she declared, grinning. "Let's see if we can scare the _flora_ too. Maybe the next planet over?" Her face was _hurting_ from grinning so hard, when she suddenly giggled and gasped in unison.

"That'd totally freak out the Admiral that gave me this place." she murmured to herself.

His lips quirked into an adorable half-smile, and he regarded her with a tilt of his head. "Siha, are you _challenging_ me?" his voice was laced with amusement.

She shook her head, blinking a few times, trying to work past the high she was feeling both from him and the afterglow.

"Oh no. No, no." she replied with a slight laugh. "I doubt I'd ever be able to _think_ properly again, let alone _walk_ if I challenged you in bed."

He responded with another nod, mirth sparkling in the obsidian pools of his eyes. "As I said, you are quite wise." he said, hand running along her inner thigh again. "Are you... recovered? I would hate to strain you too badly."

The challenge in his voice was not lost to her, but for once she just didn't want to rise to the bait. She had the feeling Thane really didn't want her to, either.

Shifting slightly, she faced him, letting both her hands ghost against the folds of his neck, lips following the same path.

Thane let out a startled gasp when her lips touched the sensitive skin; hand in her hair suddenly clenched into a fist, pulling unintentionally. Shepard ignored that; she needed to feel him.

Her hands slid down his chest, automatically skimming along the intricate black curves that decorated his body. His muscles seized and locked when she hit the skin of his lower abdomen; the same sort that covered his neck.

She planted a few kisses down his chest before gliding down the bed, pulling off his trousers, still partially undone from earlier, and allowing it to join its brethren strewn about the room.

Moaning appreciatively for the release of pressure, Thane planted his hands on either side of his hips and slid himself up to a sitting position, leaning his back against the pillows and headboard.

He offered her an outstretched hand and murmured, "Come to me, siha. Love me as I love you."

A sound of pure happiness bubbled up from her as some odd mixture of a sigh and a giggle. She took his hand and let her return the gentle tug she had bestowed upon him earlier.

Shepard settled on his hips; knees hugging the upper swells of his thighs, his heated erection caught between their bellies.

"As if I'd do anything else." she rasped, her voice growing rough from the sensation of his member rubbing the heat between her legs.

Hands took their positions; his back on the curves of her hips, flexing slightly in anticipation; hers on his shoulders for leverage as she lifted herself up, and sunk down on him in one deft motion.

They both let out a guttural moan at the feeling.

She didn't move immediately; the feel of him so deep inside of her was so _divine_. Her arms wrapped around his neck loosely; elbows resting on his shoulders, she laid her head down on his collarbone, letting her breath tickle his neck.

Lazily, she started to rise and fall. Thane's arms wrapped around her, pressing her tightly to him as he thrust back at the same unhurried pace. Goosebumps rose all over her body as he stroked her spine, making designs on her back.

He rested his cheek on the crown of her head as they clung tightly to each other. Her body started to tense again, but she didn't give in to the urge to start ravishing him.

Then she felt his fingers rub against her bud.

"Wha--" she half-moaned, half-gasped. "You aren't..."

"Hush, siha." he said, voice laced with desperation. "I need to see you."

"I don't- ah - I wanted..." she trailed off, stopping her movements; he returned the favor.

Shepard leaned back, fingers laced behind his neck to keep herself upright. Thane was staring at her with such intensity she could hardly breathe.

The shutter above their bed was open, light from a brilliantly full moon poured onto them; she hadn't noticed before. The eerily silver light made his ridges look softer; scales glistened like deposits of emeralds and obsidian; his irises were so clear.

He was beautiful; everything she ever wanted.

And he was _dying_.

She let out a small hiccup, lower lip quivering.

"Siha," Thane whispered, cupping her face and leaning her back towards him until their foreheads touched, "I will need this image; this moment; in the months to come. Let me see you at your peak of beauty."

_Love me as I love you._

She understood. This was their moment. In all likelihood, this was the last chance they had to really be _alone_ before one of them met their deaths.

He wanted to hold on to it for as long as he could; wanted the memory for company when...

Shepard kissed him; no tongue, no teeth, just love.

Leaning back again, she rested her hands just above his knees, tilting her body so the moonlight hit her front completely. She began to move again, faster, but still not willing to sacrifice the intimacy of the moment by giving in to primal urges.

Tears glistened in his eyes, and she vaguely heard a raspy "thank you" as his hand resumed its mission, rubbing circles around the knot of flesh, flicking over it directly only once in a while, mindful of his scales.

The marvelous burning sensation in the pit of her stomach increased tenfold with a sudden twist of his hips. Her grip on his legs tightened and she couldn't help but ride him harder.

"Thane... Oh, God- Thane... I-" she moaned breathlessly, hips rolling.

"Let go, siha."

And she did. Her neck craned back, hair cascading down her back as she groaned out his name, entire body quaking with the intensity of her orgasm. She rode it out, not missing one sensation, not holding back in the slightest. Moans and screams and mewls flew out of her mouth. Declarations of love, praise of his skills; he needed to know it all in the span of minutes and she would not deny him.

She could never deny him.

When she finally had control of her body again, she found that Thane had rolled her onto her back and positioned himself between her thighs, poised to enter again.

He rained kisses upon her face; her eyelids fluttered closed from the soothing feeling, kisses soon following. When his lips found hers, he slid into her again, filling her completely, as only he could.

In body; in soul; in her heart.

Thane rocked against her, their hips meeting and grinding against one another; he was close.

Her hands flew to his neck again, stroking with a gentle precision, causing him to growl low in his throat and made his strokes come faster.

She smiled up at him. "Let go, Thane."

He groaned and bowed his head to the crook of her neck, rolling into her erratically, thrusting a few more times before pushing up into her so firmly she hit her head on the back of the bed.

All she heard from him was her name, over and over again as he emptied himself inside of her.

Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she stroked his back in what she hoped was a calming matter; he was stroking her hair, murmuring into her ear so lowly she couldn't catch what he was saying.

She started to drift off to sleep when he moved off of her, laying back to his place by her side, wasting no time in moving his arm so that she could cuddle up in the crook of it.

Doing so, she turned to her side and tangle a leg with his, clutching herself to his chest before lifting her head to look at him directly.

"I don't regret this, Thane. In fact I think this is one of the few things in my life I've done right." she said after a time of just staring into his eyes.

Thane just looked at her for a long while. There was no studying or attempts to see if she was lying, he was just staring back.

"I wish I could vow forever, siha." he responded.

Shepard placed a kiss where his heart was and smiled, taking his free hand and placing it above her own.

"You already have."


End file.
